And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize