Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
