Have you finally orgasmed yet?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Randomize
