when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
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