you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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