Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
