we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
