He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
