You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
