so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
