YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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