I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
