I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
