i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
