Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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