wat bout pragnant strippers??
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
