I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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