Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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