Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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