Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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