there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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