fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
