What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
