Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize