I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm really busy with my period
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
