I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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