like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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