so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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