week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
