Porn is love you can see.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
