Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
