Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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