its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
