is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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