is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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