so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
