Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
