We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
