just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize