even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
