You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
