Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
