We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize