I think I died a long time ago.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
