i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
