It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize