Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
