Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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