I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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