Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
