Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
