don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
