I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
