Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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