im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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