And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
