i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
