Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
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