I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
