my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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