Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
