We're facebook friends in real life
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
