don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
