I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
