I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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