She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
