I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
