She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
