who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
