Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
