hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
