But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize